Everyone’s Best Friend



They say that they are “man’s best friend” but I’m inclined to think that they are everyone’s best friend. I used to think that people who only liked cats have no souls, and the more I hang out with dogs, the more I believe this to be true.

My wife often mentions that I love our dog more than her and I casually reply with “Well, if you jumped up and down and licked me on the face every time I came through the door, then maybe I’d love you more.” She normally doesn’t appreciate it, but it helps drive home a point. Whenever you walk into a house with a dog, that animal is always excited to see you. It shows it by wagging its tail and hopping around in circles, or even for those unfortunate ones, peeing all over the place. What does a cat do? Glare at you and maybe give you the middle finger.

Now I’m sure you’re saying “Well Chris, you are biased, you have an amazing dog and a really crappy demon cat.” While this is true, it always wasn’t. I actually grew up with cats. There was always a cat somewhere in my house at any given time, and what I can base from all these years of catitude is this: cats suck. They only want to be petted on their time. They only want to cuddle for seconds at a time and have no compunctions about puncturing your skin when you’ve had a bad day. Dogs on the other hand want nothing more than love at all times. I’ll admit that they may be overly needy, but I’d rather have a roommate who wants to try and be your friend than the one who sits quietly in a dark corner sharpening knives while staring at you, an evil grin spreading over their face, like the Grinch on cocaine.

I digress, as I know trying to convince lonely cat people that dogs are the greatest pets on the planet is like trying to convince gun toting, right wing southerners that salad is better than steak (it isn’t). Hopefully when the cat overlords finally take over the planet, they won’t come across this post, as I’m sure it won’t bode well for my ‘wanting to live’ stance.