The George Lucas Formula


Please keep in mind I wrote this a few years ago….


The George Lucas formula:  Why the Star wars prequels were equally as good to the originals.

1. Mostly unheard of actors

Check:  Natalie Portman, Ewan McGregor, Hayden Christian to name a few.  Compared to Mark Hamill, Carrie Fischer, and Harrison Ford (at the time.

Most of the actors/actresses went on to do NOTHING of importance after these movies (thus far) with the exception of Harrison Ford and possibly Ewan McGregor.

2. Unheard of action

Also check:  when the first movies came out, the effects and action were unparalleled to any other movie.  What the hell was a lightsaber?  We didn’t know, and we didn’t care, it was freaking amazing.  In episode one they added the double bladed lightsaber to freak us the fuck out and in episode 2 added an extra one to complete the badassery of lightsaber combat.

3. Terrible writing:

What?  You really think the original 3 were written fantasticly?  Did you see the third (sorry 6th) installment?  What the hell were ewoks doing beating the imperial stormtroopers?  Those little fucktards should have been lit on fire the second the troops landed on that planet.  NO EXCUSES.  Not to mention the annoying whinery of luke suckballer throughout 2 entire movies with a sudden change of heart in the 6th that was only explained by “he is a jedi and therefore a badass, don’t ask questions”

4.  Symmetrical endings to the movies:

Movie “4” ended with a parade and a happy award celebration.  Wait, I mean to say that episode 1 ended with….hold on…..they both did.   The same goes with episode 2 and 5, it left us with a sense of foreboding and dread.  What will happen to our mannequin-esq heroes in the next installment?  No good could come of this.

5. Really, Really annoying characters that should have been left out:

C-3PO, Jar Jar., Ewoks.  The End

6. Badasses going out like chumps:

Obviously Boba Fett.  What about Mace Windu who not only had the most kick-ass lightsaber color ever, but was hit by lightening, which in my research, most people survive.   He had a chance to end everything, and paid for it.  He exterminated the most dangerous bounty hunter in the system without even blinking, yet he couldn’t end the sith reign of terror because of a whiney jedi knight (maybe that’s where luke gets it).

7. Awkward love stories:

How old was Padme when she met Annakin?  18, he was 10?  What about the tension between Leia and Luke for two movies?  If I was in love with someone 8 years younger than me when I was 18, they would lock me up and throw away the key.  Same goes with my sister (unless I lived in Arkansas).


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